this is life... I'm learning to accept the path laid in front of me... it's no longer my life... anything and everything can happen in my life... be it the ups or the downs. it will happen and I can't prevent it. this is the path that's been set out for me to run. I can't choose another path, cause it's the best path before me already. choosing another path will only bring me more "suffering". I think alot nowadays, I am freaking sensitive nowadays, and maybe it's time I learn to adapt more... and it's time I learn to take another bigger step in trusting God and not men...the world gives me problems...I've had a hard day. it's hard to pick myself up from the ground...I'm covered in wounds... they're all bleeding... what to do? yah... today, I took another fall and "ouch...", there it goes, another wound... but I guess.. I know why this wound came, to get rid of the past that's edged so deeply in my mind... I don't think anyone will understand what I'm typing but anyway, this wound opened up my eyes, to see how badly wounded I am... all the scars. so horrid... maybe I've not learnt to let go enough.. and it's time to let go fully... that hard fall today showed me many things, "what is grades compared to God. grades are merely something so small compared to God.. and I hold it like it's my life like that... " maybe it's because of my environment.. but somehow, I feel that's just an excuse to console myself... it really brings more pain trying to console myself... I've like fallen into a pit... without that helping hand, I'll never get up again. "trust and faith"... the foundation that I need to build on now.. I'm being anchored to take another big step of faith and to trust the Lord..."can the biggest things in life be compared to God?" I don't think so. " can anything at all be greater than God?" I don't think so either.
today.. I felt was quite horrid. I wouldn't say why.. I think I would have started emo-ing.. but no... I didn't. then come to think of it.. I think I was thinking too much..and I over-react too much. I'm too calculative or maybe I have too high expectations...that I'm suddenly so crushed today.. well.. non of that matters now, as long as I learn to exercise more faith and trust in God... depending on myself will kill me... yup.

oh.. thanks zhen, for the card... it's appreciated(:

rach
RGS
6H`05
103`06 203`07 306`08
45th batch`09
OSL'08
FCBC youthnet
08/04/1993




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